Introduction
Let’s dive into Gabriele Oettingen’s insightful book, “Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation.” This gem is not your typical cheerleader-type self-help book. Instead, Oettingen, a renowned psychologist, invites us to reevaluate the power of positive thinking.
Oettingen argues that merely visualizing our desires can sometimes hinder us from achieving them. She serves us a fresh perspective on goal setting, motivation, and the science of making things happen, backed by decades of research. If you’ve been caught in the loop of goal-setting and not quite reaching them, buckle up; this book might just hold the key.
As always, if you find this book summary helpful please consider buying the book.
“Dreams can come true, but not through magic. They require a clear plan and the motivation to follow through.”
Gabriele Oettingen
The Problem with Pure Positivity
Oettingen takes us on a journey exploring the unexpected downside of positive thinking. While positive visualizations can inspire us, they can also drain our drive to pursue our goals. It’s as if we trick our brain into believing we’ve already achieved our dreams, resulting in relaxation instead of the motivation we’d expect. Oettingen gives us an interesting twist: “Positive thinking can make us feel better in the short term, but in the long term, it can become an obstacle.”
We’re constantly told to “think positive,” to envision our success and all will be well. But in “Rethinking Positive Thinking,” Oettingen flips that idea on its head, and frankly, it’s a bit of a breath of fresh air. It’s a reminder that life isn’t as simple as “imagine and you shall receive.”
In the book, Oettingen discusses the problem with pure positivity – the idea that just imagining our desired outcomes will lead us to them. It’s a powerful notion, she argues, but not always for the reasons we might think. Sure, picturing ourselves crossing the finish line can boost our mood, making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But it doesn’t necessarily prompt us to lace up our running shoes and hit the pavement.
Tricking our brains
Oettingen’s research shows that pure positivity can trick our brains into thinking we’ve already achieved our goals. We relax, we revel in our “success”, and we lose the drive to push forward. It’s like being awarded the medal before even starting the race – why would we bother running at all?
How many times have I visualized my perfect morning routine, only to hit the snooze button one too many times? How often have I pictured a completed project, only to then delay and put things off, feeling that it’s almost as good as done?
Positive thinking can light the spark, but it doesn’t necessarily fuel the fire. It’s a wake-up call that, as much as we’d like to, we can’t just daydream our way to success. There’s work to be done, and just imagining the finish line won’t magically teleport us there.
This section of the book is a reality check – a necessary pause in our positivity-filled journey. It nudges us to not just be dreamers, but also doers. It’s not about abandoning positivity, but about understanding that positivity alone isn’t the golden ticket to our goals.
Mental Contrasting: A Balance of Positivity and Reality
Next, Oettingen presents her groundbreaking concept: Mental Contrasting. This technique is used to balance our positive aspirations with the solid obstacles that stand in our way. By visualizing both the outcome and the hurdles, we foster a sense of determination and a readiness to act. As Oettingen puts it, “Fantasizing about the future is important, but we also need to see clearly the hard road ahead.”
There’s a certain kind of magic that happens when we blend positivity and reality, a concept Gabriele Oettingen introduces in her book as “mental contrasting.” It’s not about shunning positive thinking. Instead, it’s about balancing those wonderful dreams with a hearty dose of reality.
Mental contrasting, as Oettingen explains, involves two crucial steps. First, we imagine our goal, really savoring the positivity of the outcome. Then, we envision the obstacles that stand in our way. It’s not pessimism, but an honest acknowledgement of the challenges that await us.
Oettingen’s book argues that this method can be a powerful motivator. When we see the discrepancy between our dreams and our current reality, we’re more inclined to bridge the gap.
The reality check
But, and here’s the tricky part, this method works best when we are confident we can overcome the obstacles. It’s like lighting a fire under us, propelling us forward. But if we perceive the obstacles as insurmountable, it might discourage us instead. Hence, the importance of balancing positivity and reality.
On a personal note, implementing mental contrasting in my life has been a game-changer. Instead of just visualizing success, I’ve started to recognize the hurdles I need to leap over to get there.
Take my fitness goals, for instance. Before, I’d visualize myself running a marathon. Now, I not only picture the triumphant finish but also acknowledge the challenges – getting up early, training regularly, overcoming the temptation of hitting the snooze button. It doesn’t diminish my positivity. If anything, it makes my goals feel more tangible, more real.
Mental contrasting is like having one foot in the dream and the other in reality. It recognizes that while positivity can point us to the destination, it’s the recognition and anticipation of obstacles that provide the roadmap. It’s a powerful tool, one that can transform the way we chase our goals, making the journey not just a dreamy adventure, but a navigable path.
WOOP: A Goal Setting Framework
Building upon Mental Contrasting, we are introduced to the WOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). This tool is designed to transform our positive dreams into actionable plans by acknowledging the potential hurdles and devising ways to overcome them.
Wish
Let’s take a moment to walk through the steps together. First, the “W” stands for Wish. Here, you identify a goal or wish that you would like to achieve. It can be anything, from a major career move to a smaller, personal goal.
Outcome
Next, “O” is for Outcome. You imagine the ideal outcome if your wish was fulfilled. You let yourself revel in the positive emotions tied to achieving your goal. This is the positivity aspect that is so integral to Oettingen’s approach.
Obstacle
Now comes the game-changer – the second “O” stands for Obstacle. You identify the potential obstacles that stand in your way. It could be external challenges, or it could be internal ones, like fear, procrastination, or self-doubt.
Plan
Lastly, “P” is for Plan. Here, you formulate a plan to overcome the obstacles that you’ve identified. The magic lies in having an “if-then” plan – if ‘obstacle’, then ‘effective action’.
In my own life, WOOP has been a bit of a revelation. Say I’m working on a project – my Wish is to complete it efficiently and successfully. The Outcome? Satisfaction and potentially, recognition. The Obstacles, well, there’s procrastination, distractions, and sometimes lack of information. Then comes the Plan. If I feel the pull of procrastination, then I will use the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break, repeat). Distracted? I’ll turn off my phone and close unnecessary tabs. If I lack information, I will set a specific time to research.
Using WOOP doesn’t just give me a roadmap for my goals, it’s also a tool for self-awareness. By contemplating the obstacles, I’m often prompted to dig deep, to identify not just external roadblocks but my internal ones too. WOOP’s strength lies not just in its simplicity, but in its ability to incorporate positivity, realism, and a clear action plan. And let me tell you, it makes the pursuit of goals a lot more actionable and, dare I say, fun.
The Power of Non-Conscious Processes
“Rethinking Positive Thinking” delves into the fascinating world of non-conscious processes. As much as we like to think we’re in control, many of our decisions and behaviors are driven by processes beneath our conscious awareness. And, rather than seeing this as something to fear, Oettingen suggests we embrace these non-conscious processes and learn how to harness their power to our advantage.
Through various studies, Oettingen illustrates that when we consciously use the WOOP framework, we’re also priming our non-conscious mind to work towards our goals. It’s as though we’re programming our internal GPS to navigate us towards our desired destination, even when we’re not consciously thinking about it.
Imagine your non-conscious mind as a humble backstage crew that keeps the show running smoothly while the conscious mind basks in the limelight. It’s quietly taking care of many processes, enabling you to perform at your best without needing to consciously micromanage every aspect of your behavior.
Navigating towards goals on autopilot
A personal anecdote comes to mind here. Recently, I was training for a half marathon. I used WOOP to help me get there – my Wish was to complete the run, the Outcome was that rush of accomplishment, the Obstacle was my habit of hitting the snooze button in the morning, and my Plan was to set my running gear out the night before, making it harder to ignore that early alarm.
What surprised me was how my actions began to align with my training goal, almost on autopilot. I found myself choosing healthier meals without much deliberation, going to bed earlier to ensure enough rest, and even opting for stairs over elevators for that bit of extra exercise. It was as if WOOP had primed my non-conscious mind to nudge my behavior in the right direction.
So, don’t underestimate the power of your non-conscious processes. As Oettingen emphasizes, your non-conscious mind is a steadfast ally in achieving your goals if you know how to harness its potential. And WOOP is a fantastic tool to do just that.
The Science and Research behind WOOP
Oettingen backs up her claims with comprehensive explanations of the scientific research and studies carried out over decades. She assures us that “WOOP is not just a theory. Its effectiveness is backed by rigorous science.”
Through decades of studies, Oettingen and her colleagues have confirmed WOOP’s efficacy. They’ve conducted experiments in diverse fields including health, academia, business, and interpersonal relationships, and the results have been consistently impressive. From helping students get better grades to aiding patients in adhering to their medical treatments, WOOP is shown to be a powerful tool in goal attainment.
And you know what? I’ve seen this science in action in my own life. When I started using WOOP, I was a little skeptical – the acronym sounded more like a cheer than a scientific technique. But after a few months of consistently applying it, I found myself not just setting, but actually achieving goals that had seemed daunting before.
I remember one instance when I was preparing for a big presentation at work. Public speaking wasn’t exactly my forte and the mere thought of standing before an audience had my palms sweating. Using WOOP, I envisioned my successful presentation (Wish), the standing ovation (Outcome), my nerve-wracking anxiety (Obstacle), and rehearsing until I felt confident (Plan).
The result? Not only did the presentation go smoothly, but I also received glowing feedback. My anxiety, while still present, didn’t paralyze me. Instead, I had harnessed it to drive my preparation and, ultimately, my performance. Now, I’m a believer in WOOP.
The beauty of “Rethinking Positive Thinking” is that it’s not just an inspiring read, it’s a research-backed manual for achieving your goals. The book elegantly combines scientific rigor with practical applicability, making it an empowering guide for anyone committed to personal growth.
WOOP in Practice
In the final sections of the book, Oettingen guides us on how to apply the WOOP strategy in various areas of our lives – be it personal growth, professional achievements, health, or relationships. She offers practical steps and real-life examples, making it easier to put WOOP to practical use.
Gabriele Oettingen guides readers on how to apply WOOP in their daily lives, irrespective of the complexity or nature of the goals. Be it career goals, health targets, or personal growth objectives, Oettingen gives us a solid approach to make progress.
The numerous real-life accounts throughout the book demonstrate how individuals have used WOOP to overcome their challenges and achieve their objectives. These stories provide the reader with both a roadmap and inspiration.
WOOP’ing relationship issues
Let’s explore an example that stood out to me, shall we? It involves a woman named Alice who desired to improve her relationship with her teenage son. The constant bickering was driving her up the wall, and she yearned for a better, more understanding relationship with her boy. Now that’s the Wish.
The Outcome she envisioned was a more harmonious home environment and a stronger mother-son bond. Her chief Obstacle, she realized, was her instinctive reaction to get defensive when her son lashed out.
Alice then came up with a Plan: the next time she felt herself getting defensive, she would pause, take a deep breath, and calmly express her feelings rather than arguing back. By using this simple strategy, she hoped to diffuse the tension and foster better communication.
This WOOP framework provided Alice with a clear roadmap to navigate the rough waters of her relationship with her son. The beauty of WOOP, as this example illustrates, is its adaptability. It’s a tool that can be used to address a wide variety of goals and challenges.
The essence of “Rethinking Positive Thinking” is this transformative shift in approach. It’s more than just a theoretical exploration of goal-setting; it provides a scientific, practical, and proven strategy that readers can employ to fulfill their ambitions.
Summing Up
“Rethinking Positive Thinking” is an invitation to all of us, not to discard positive thinking, but to approach it in a balanced and effective manner. Oettingen’s innovative take on achieving our goals is a breath of fresh air in the realm of personal growth. This book serves as a valuable guide, helping us navigate the path between dreaming and doing.
Don’t forget to check out our own book “Unbroken: Navigating Life’s Highs and Lows with Resilience and Grit”