Unbroken: Chapter 12
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama
This profound quote from the Dalai Lama encapsulates the essence of this chapter. Happiness is not a passive state of being, reliant on external factors or fortunate circumstances. It’s a conscious choice, an active pursuit that requires dedication, patience, and, often, a good dose of resilience.
The Role of Happiness in Resilience and Mental Toughness
The correlation between happiness and resilience may not seem intuitive at first, but once we dissect the facets of these phenomena, it becomes clear how they coexist and enhance one another. Research in positive psychology and neuroscience reveals that happiness not only fortifies our mental toughness but also fosters our resilience, enabling us to bounce back from life’s challenges with more ease and grace.
Let’s delve deeper into these findings.
The Positive Feedback Loop
Happiness and resilience create a positive feedback loop. As stated by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of “The How of Happiness,” happier people tend to seek out and undertake new goals that reinforce their happiness and other positive emotions. The pursuit and attainment of these goals instill a sense of self-efficacy and fulfillment, further boosting happiness levels. At the same time, the process of striving towards and achieving goals nurtures resilience by compelling us to overcome obstacles, solve problems, and handle setbacks—key facets of resilience.
Broaden-and-Build Theory
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a renowned psychologist and positive psychology researcher, proposed the “Broaden-and-Build Theory” to explain the benefits of positive emotions, such as happiness. According to this theory, positive emotions broaden our scope of attention, cognition, and action, enhancing our thought-action repertoires. This expansion in perspective enables us to conceive—and thus pursue—a wider range of strategies to address challenges, thereby bolstering our problem-solving skills, one of the key ingredients of resilience.
In addition, the positive emotions generated through this theory also help to counterbalance the effects of negative emotions. This balance enhances our emotional resilience, reducing the impact of stress and helping us recover more quickly from negative emotional experiences.
Happiness as a Buffer
Studies show that happier individuals are better equipped to handle stress and adversity—indicative of mental toughness. They have lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and they report less perceived stress even in the face of challenges.
Happiness also provides an emotional buffer. Lyubomirsky’s research indicates that individuals with a more positive outlook can better absorb and rebound from the ‘slings and arrows’ of life, illustrating an essential aspect of resilience.
Happiness and the Brain
Neuroscientific research has found that happiness affects the brain in ways that can enhance resilience. Richard Davidson’s research at the Center for Healthy Minds shows that long-term meditators and individuals with high levels of wellbeing have more robust left prefrontal cortex activity—a part of the brain associated with positive emotions and an ability to suppress negative emotions. This neurobiological trait can help individuals maintain emotional stability in the face of adversity, thereby increasing resilience.
In sum, happiness isn’t merely a pleasant state—it’s a powerfully transformative one. It equips us with the mindset and tools to navigate the challenges of life with resilience and mental toughness. In the next sections, we’ll delve into specific strategies to cultivate this invaluable state.
Strategies to Cultivate Happiness and Contentment
Cultivating happiness and contentment isn’t about chasing fleeting moments of joy or pleasure; it’s about developing a deep-seated sense of fulfillment that persists even in the face of adversity. Here, we’ll delve into scientifically-supported strategies that can help you nurture happiness and contentment.
Practice Gratitude
Countless studies in positive psychology have shown the powerful impact of gratitude on happiness and overall wellbeing. Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, has found that those who regularly practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity more effectively, and build strong relationships.
Gratitude can be cultivated in various ways, such as keeping a gratitude journal, where you record three things you’re thankful for each day, expressing thanks directly to others, or even mentally acknowledging your blessings.
Foster Positive Relationships
Harvard’s Grant and Glueck study, one of the longest-running studies on adult development, found that the quality of relationships is crucial for happiness. Therefore, investing time and energy in nurturing positive relationships—with family, friends, or communities—can significantly enhance happiness and contentment. This can involve spending quality time with loved ones, actively listening and empathizing with others, and expressing affection and appreciation.
Engage in Meaningful Activities
Research suggests that engaging in activities that we find personally meaningful can promote happiness. These activities generally align with our values and allow us to utilize our strengths. It might be volunteering for a cause you care about, pursuing a hobby, or dedicating yourself to lifelong learning. The key is to engage in activities that provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment beyond just immediate pleasure.
Cultivate Mindfulness
Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, has been linked to increased levels of happiness. It reduces rumination on past regrets or anxieties about the future, enabling us to savor the present moment. Regular mindfulness meditation, mindful walking, or simply bringing conscious attention to everyday activities can help cultivate mindfulness.
Adopt an Optimistic Outlook
Optimism, the tendency to maintain a positive outlook and expect good outcomes, is closely associated with greater happiness. Dr. Martin Seligman’s work on learned optimism shows that by challenging negative self-talk and cultivating a habit of interpreting events from a more positive perspective, we can enhance our happiness levels.
Physical Wellbeing
Never underestimate the power of a healthy body in cultivating a happy mind. Regular physical activity, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and relaxation practices such as yoga or deep breathing can contribute significantly to our sense of happiness and contentment.
While each of these strategies can independently enhance happiness, they are most effective when combined. In the next section, we’ll explore how to make these practices an integral part of your life, making happiness more than just an emotional state but a way of life.
Ways to Make Happiness a Habit
Developing a habit of happiness requires consistent practice and integration of positive behaviors into our everyday lives. Here, we’ll delve into how to make happiness a lasting habit.
Make it Routine
Habits are formed when behaviors are repeated consistently until they become automatic. Choose one or two strategies that resonate with you most from the previous section—whether it’s practicing gratitude, cultivating mindfulness, or engaging in physical activities—and commit to doing them regularly. For instance, you might start your day by writing in a gratitude journal or end it with a mindfulness meditation session. Over time, these actions will become ingrained in your daily routine.
Small Steps
Small, incremental changes often lead to lasting habits. Instead of attempting a complete overhaul of your lifestyle, start with manageable changes. If you’re new to mindfulness, for instance, start with a five-minute meditation session each day and gradually increase the duration. Remember, it’s not about the size of the step but the consistency of the action.
Make it Enjoyable
We’re more likely to stick to habits that we find enjoyable. Choose activities that you genuinely like and make you feel good. If you hate running, for instance, don’t force yourself to run every morning because it’s “healthy.” Instead, find a physical activity that you enjoy—be it dancing, hiking, or yoga. The key is to align your happiness habits with your preferences and passions.
Leverage Positive Relationships
Involving others in our happiness habits can make the process more enjoyable and increase the likelihood of sticking to them. You could maintain a shared gratitude journal with a partner, attend meditation classes with a friend, or engage in community service with a group. Being part of a community not only provides motivation and accountability but also deepens our sense of connection and happiness.
Practice Self-Compassion
When cultivating happiness habits, it’s important to practice self-compassion. There will be days when you don’t feel like sticking to your routine, or when negative emotions overshadow your efforts. Instead of criticizing yourself or feeling guilty, practice self-compassion. Recognize that struggles are a part of the process and remind yourself of your commitment to cultivating happiness.
Reflect and Adjust
Finally, regularly reflect on your happiness habits. Are they enhancing your sense of contentment? Do you need to adjust or try different strategies? Reflection helps us stay in tune with our progress and needs, enabling us to make necessary adjustments and continue growing.
By integrating these strategies into our lives, we make happiness a part of our identity, not just a fleeting emotion. It becomes a way of life, providing us with the resilience to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and positivity.