Unbroken: Chapter 18
The fortress, a towering embodiment of strength and resistance, has long stood as a symbol of steadfast resilience against forces that seek to penetrate its walls. When we think of such a structure, we envision walls built from solid stone, unyielding and indomitable. Just as the fortress offers protection, your mental toughness acts as an inner sanctuary, protecting your well-being and keeping at bay the adversities that come your way. It is not merely about enduring tough times; it’s about harnessing the challenges, reforging them into a driving force that propels you forward. It’s about growing through what you go through.
Mental toughness is the fortress of the mind. It shields, it fortifies, and it gives us the strength to continue on when everything around us seems to crumble. It’s about embracing adversity as an opportunity for growth, about holding steadfast in the face of trials, about enduring hardships not just with resignation but with determination and resolve.
In the coming journey, we will scale these metaphorical walls and explore the labyrinth within. We will delve into the science, the art, and the practice of mental toughness. We will learn from those who’ve walked this path before, garnering lessons from their triumphs and their tribulations. And along the way, we will find that this fortress, this inner citadel of resilience, is not something beyond reach. It can be built, brick by brick, with determination, courage, and understanding.
This chapter unfolds the secrets of mental toughness, shedding light on its foundational principles, offering strategies for its cultivation, and sharing inspiring stories of its application. We will chart a path for you to build your own inner fortress, ensuring you are well-equipped to weather life’s storms and turn adversities into opportunities. Welcome to your journey of building mental toughness – your inner fortress.
Overview of the Concept of Mental Toughness
Mental toughness is a complex, multifaceted trait often associated with high-level performance in sports and high-stress environments. Over the years, psychological and sports research have given us a nuanced understanding of this attribute, enabling us to apply its principles not only to physical endeavors but also to emotional and mental challenges we encounter in daily life.
The psychology professor Peter Clough, one of the foremost researchers on mental toughness, has defined it as “a personal capacity to deliver high performance on a regular basis despite varying degrees of situational demands (stressors).” He, along with his team, developed the 4C’s model of mental toughness, comprising of control, commitment, challenge, and confidence.
The 4C’s Model
- Control is about feeling in command of your life and emotions
- Commitment involves setting goals and doggedly pursuing them
- Challenge signifies seeing change or adversity as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat
- Confidence refers to self-belief in abilities and interpersonal prowess
These attributes are interconnected, and together they create a resilience that helps individuals persevere through hardships and bounce back from failures.
Mental toughness & Grit
Dr. Angela Duckworth, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of the book “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” brought the concept of grit into the conversation about mental toughness. Duckworth’s studies found that grit, which she defines as passion and perseverance for long-term goals, is a strong predictor of success. She famously stated, “Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Grit is seen as a subset of mental toughness, specifically related to persistence and long-term goal pursuit, regardless of the obstacles and setbacks. Duckworth’s work has been significant in understanding that mental toughness is not just about weathering the storm, but also about staying committed to your goals, despite the difficulties.
Further evidence for the role of mental toughness in life success was offered by a 2018 study published in the “Journal of Applied Psychology.” This study found that mental toughness was a significant factor in job performance, job satisfaction, and reducing work-related stress and burnout.
To understand mental toughness is to understand that it is more than enduring hardships. It’s about transforming them into launching pads for growth. As Friedrich Nietzsche aptly stated, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” This phrase encapsulates the essence of mental toughness: it’s about emerging stronger from adversity, not just getting through it.
As we delve deeper into the realm of mental toughness, we will find it’s not a trait of limited to extraordinary individuals. Rather it is a capacity we all possess, waiting to be tapped into and honed. This exploration takes us through strategies for cultivating mental toughness and compelling narratives that bear testament to its power.
Steps to Cultivate Mental Toughness
Some people may naturally exhibit more mental toughness than others. It is important to understand that mental toughness, like a muscle, can be developed and strengthened with practice. Here are steps backed by scientific studies, expert guidance, and professional wisdom that can help you cultivate mental toughness:
Set Clear Goals
Goal setting is an integral part of cultivating mental toughness. Goals provide a focus and serve as a roadmap, guiding your actions and decisions. They can give you a sense of purpose and direction. Goals can motivate you to keep going when things get tough. They serve as a benchmark for measuring progress and success.
Renowned psychologists Dr. Edwin Locke and Dr. Gary Latham spent many years studying the science of goal-setting. They developed Goal Setting Theory to explain the relationship between goals and performance. According to their research, specific and challenging goals lead to significantly higher performance than setting easy or vague goals. Dr. Locke says, “High goals lead to greater effort than low goals. Too easy goals don’t motivate, and impossible ones demotivate.” Thus, setting clear, challenging goals is a key strategy for building mental toughness.
As Dr. Locke states, “The simple act of setting goals pushes you to strive to be better, no matter what those goals are.” Hence, the first step towards fostering mental toughness is to define what you want to achieve. The more specific and detailed your goals, the better.
Setting a goal isn’t enough
But just setting a goal isn’t enough; it’s also important to create a plan for achieving it. Setting smaller, short-term objectives that contribute to your overarching goal can make it feel more manageable and attainable. This is supported by research in the Journal of Applied Psychology. This found that when employees not only set goals but also developed detailed action plans, they were significantly more likely to achieve their objectives.
And don’t be afraid to set high goals. Research has shown that even if people don’t fully reach a high goal, they usually achieve more than if they set a lower one. Locke and Latham found that setting a high goal led to higher performance than setting an “easy” goal, even if the high goal was not fully achieved.
As with all things, balance is key. While it’s good to push yourself, goals should still be realistic and achievable. Goals that are far out of reach can end up being demotivating.
Remember, the purpose of setting goals is not to create stress or pressure, but to inspire and motivate. The process of striving for the goal, as opposed to the outcome, can be a powerful catalyst for building resilience. As Locke and Latham point out, “The value of achieving the goal lies in the goal itself; and therefore, it is the goal that motivates the activity.”
Embrace Challenges
One crucial component of cultivating mental toughness is learning to embrace challenges. Challenges, hardships, and adversities aren’t just stumbling blocks on your path; they’re opportunities for growth and improvement. By fostering a mindset that views challenges as beneficial, we equip ourselves to navigate any obstacles we encounter more efficiently and effectively.
This perspective aligns with the groundbreaking work of psychologist Dr. Carol S. Dweck in the area of “mindset.” Dr. Dweck’s research suggests that individuals can generally be categorized into two mindsets: fixed and growth. Those with a fixed mindset see their abilities and talents as largely unchangeable. Those with a growth mindset believe they can develop and improve their abilities through hard work and dedication. According to Dweck, “In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here’s a chance to grow.”
Embracing challenges, then, is about fostering this growth mindset. It’s about recognizing that each challenge is an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to develop. As we face and overcome challenges, we build mental toughness. We learn to persevere, to manage our emotions, to adapt, and to solve problems, all skills integral to mental toughness.
Psychological safety
Harvard Business School professor Dr. Amy C. Edmondson talks about a similar concept in her work on “psychological safety” in the workplace. She explains that for teams and organizations to thrive, members need to feel safe taking risks and facing challenges. Edmondson says, “Psychological safety is a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes.” By cultivating a culture where challenges are embraced, teams can become more innovative, resilient, and mentally tough.
On an individual level, embracing challenges means facing our fears. It means stepping out of our comfort zones, and being willing to fail. This might be scary. Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, explains, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
Remember, the road to mental toughness isn’t necessarily comfortable. Each challenge you face and overcome is another brick in the fortress of your resilience. As you embrace challenges, not only will your mental toughness increase, but your confidence and self-efficacy will too. “Through a long process of meeting life’s challenges,” says author and Navy SEAL Eric Greitens, “we grow stronger and stronger and become ever more able to meet those challenges that were once too great for us.”
Through a long process of meeting life’s challenges we grow stronger and stronger and become ever more able to meet those challenges that were once too great for us.
Eric Greitens
Practice Emotional Control
Emotional control, or the ability to manage and regulate our emotions, is a crucial aspect of mental toughness. It doesn’t mean suppressing or ignoring emotions, but rather understanding and navigating them effectively to respond appropriately to different situations. In other words, it’s about using emotions as a tool rather than being controlled by them.
Dr. Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and science journalist known for his work on emotional intelligence. He suggests that managing emotions is a fundamental aspect of emotional intelligence. He defines it as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”
In his book, “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” Goleman asserts, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
Emotional control, therefore, is crucial to success and mental toughness. The better you can understand and manage your emotions, the better equipped you’ll be to maintain composure. You’ll make sound decisions, and act effectively, even under pressure or adversity.
Emotional Agility
Psychologist Dr. Susan David explores this concept in her work on emotional agility. She describes it as “being flexible with your thoughts and feelings so that you can respond optimally to everyday situations.” In her book “Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life,” David emphasizes that “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” By accepting and navigating our emotions effectively, we can maintain resilience in the face of adversity.
Similarly, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, talks about the importance of understanding stress and transforming your relationship with it. In her TED talk, “How to make stress your friend,” she posits that changing your mindset about stress can make you healthier and more resilient. “When you change your mind about stress,” she says, “you can change your body’s response to stress.”
Practicing emotional control can involve various strategies, such as mindfulness meditation, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and stress management practices. The key is to understand your emotional patterns, accept your feelings without judgment, and learn to respond effectively. As Viktor E. Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, reminds us, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Develop Perseverance
Perseverance, often referred to as “grit,” is an essential component of mental toughness. It’s the inner fire that keeps us going in the face of adversity, the determination to keep pushing forward despite obstacles or setbacks.
Dr. Angela Duckworth, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, has extensively studied this trait and defined it as a blend of passion and sustained persistence. In her book “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” she states, “Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality.”
Research supports the idea that grit is a significant predictor of success. In a seminal study by Duckworth and her colleagues, it was found that grit, more than IQ or talent, predicts who will succeed in education, career, and other areas of life. As Duckworth notes, “Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”
According to Duckworth, one of the ways to develop grit is through deliberate practice, a form of training that includes consistent goal-setting, focused attention, and immediate feedback on progress. Perseverance isn’t just about working hard, it’s about working smart and continually striving for improvement.
Learning from failure
Another important aspect of perseverance is learning from failure. As Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck posits in her work on mindset, viewing failure as a learning opportunity fosters a growth mindset, which is a vital aspect of grit. In her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” Dweck explains, “In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, ‘Oh, I’m going to reveal my weaknesses,’ you say, ‘Wow, here’s a chance to grow.'”
Maintaining an optimistic outlook is also closely linked with perseverance. According to Martin Seligman, known as the father of positive psychology, an optimistic attitude helps us interpret failures and setbacks as temporary and specific rather than permanent and pervasive. This perspective keeps us motivated and committed to our goals despite the challenges we face.
In conclusion, cultivating perseverance involves developing a passion for long-term goals, embracing the process of deliberate practice, adopting a growth mindset, and maintaining an optimistic perspective. Remember the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” Developing this ‘courage to continue’ is the essence of perseverance and a cornerstone of mental toughness.
Build Confidence
Confidence is a crucial component of mental toughness. It’s the belief in one’s own abilities and the conviction that we can overcome challenges and achieve our goals. According to psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Albert Bandura, confidence or self-efficacy impacts our thoughts, actions, and emotional reactions. In his words, “Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure.”
Building confidence is not about being the best; it’s about being comfortable with who you are and believing in your capacity to improve and succeed. Numerous scientific studies and expert advice highlight several key strategies to foster this trait:
Master a Skill
Dr. Bandura’s research on self-efficacy shows that one of the most effective ways to build confidence is through mastery experiences. Achieving a goal or overcoming a challenge through sustained effort boosts our belief in our abilities. Each success, no matter how small, contributes to a greater sense of self-efficacy.
Visualize Success
Sports psychologists often teach athletes to visualize their success. Dr. Jim Taylor, a psychologist specializing in sports psychology, notes that “Visualization works because neurons in our brains, those electrically excitable cells that transmit information, interpret imagery as equivalent to a real-life action.” By visualizing ourselves successfully accomplishing a task, we can build confidence in our ability to do it in real life.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Our internal dialogue significantly impacts our self-confidence. Renowned psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman found that adopting a positive explanatory style can enhance our resilience and confidence. We must learn to counteract negative self-talk and instead, affirm our abilities and strengths.
Seek Out Positive Role Models
Observing people similar to us succeed through their hard work can strengthen our belief that we too can succeed – a phenomenon Bandura termed “vicarious experiences”. Having positive role models helps us see the path to success and fosters our confidence.
Stay Physically Active
Regular physical activity is linked with better self-esteem and confidence. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, explains in her book “The How of Happiness,” that physical activity triggers a cascade of positive feelings and thoughts that boost our mood and self-image.
Confidence isn’t static; it’s something we build and cultivate over time through persistent effort and a positive mindset. As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Embrace your journey of personal growth, and let your growing confidence be the sturdy pillar of your mental toughness
Cultivate a Positive Attitude
A positive attitude is a cornerstone of mental toughness. It’s the optimist’s perspective, looking for opportunities amidst adversity, learning from failures, and maintaining a hopeful outlook even under the most challenging circumstances. As noted by psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, “Positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to build new skills and resources that can provide value in other areas of your life.”
Let’s delve into strategies to cultivate a positive attitude, supported by scientific research and expert insights:
Embrace Positive Emotions
According to Fredrickson’s ‘Broaden-and-Build’ theory, positive emotions like joy, interest, and gratitude enhance our creativity and resourcefulness, broadening our perspective to discover novel solutions. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and expressing gratitude regularly can help cultivate these emotions.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness promotes an awareness of the present moment, reducing rumination over past events or worries about the future. Harvard Medical School psychologist Dr. Ronald Siegel asserts, “Mindfulness allows us to be present in our life experience as it unfolds, free from reactive patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior.” Regular mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or conscious breathing, can help cultivate a positive attitude.
Foster Optimism
Optimism is a positive attitude towards the future. Dr. Martin Seligman, a pioneer in the field of positive psychology, argues that optimists are more resilient and better at overcoming challenges. Cultivating optimism involves reframing negative thoughts, focusing on positive aspects, and visualizing successful outcomes.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
Self-compassion, as Dr. Kristin Neff explains, involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during times of failure or hardship, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes. By being gentle with ourselves and accepting our flaws, we nurture a more positive and forgiving attitude.
Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people we spend time with influence our attitude and behavior. Spending time with positive and uplifting individuals can reinforce our own positivity.
As renowned business philosopher Jim Rohn said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” A positive attitude is a potent tool in our mental toughness arsenal, enabling us to face life’s challenges with courage and resilience.